BDSM | Couples Therapy

BDSM | Couples Therapy“There are as many “shades of grey” as there are people, and we support consenting adults who engage in alternative sexual and relationship expressions. Any form of consensual sexuality between adults can be considered healthy if practiced in a safe and responsible manner.”

  • Are you struggling with having conversations about BDSM/Kink with your partner?
  • Are you having difficulty negotiating rules around your sexual practices?
  • Are you having feelings of guilt and shame based on bias and fear of judgment?
  • Are you afraid you are “the only one” who feels this way?

In his landmark book SM101, Jay Wiseman broadly defined BDSM as the “knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner” (1996, p. 10).

We support this broad definition of BDSM/Kink and respect that the reasons for each person engaging in these activities can vary dramatically.  For some is can be about enhanced sexual arousal, enhancing connection to ones partner or it can be part of a path to personal, relationship and/or spiritual growth.  Sexuality is an important and integral part of being human and how you choose to express yourself should be honored.

Having conversations with a partner about sexual desires and practices are an important and deepening part of a relationship, but it can also be difficult and bring up many uncomfortable feelings.  You and your partner may have difficulties in how you relate sexually in a variety of ways whether it is frequency, practices or unspoken desires.

Whether you want to explore alternative sexual practices as a couple, deepen your sexual connection, discuss desires that are previously not expressed, or any other topic we will help you unleash your erotic intelligence.

It is critical that you find a therapist who can work with your relationship without bias.  Bias in your therapist can lead to psychological damage to your relationship and your individual self-esteem, and potentially other serious issues.  Our dialogue is judgment free and our only concern is your well-being, health and happiness, both as a couple and as individuals.

There is much to talk about, and we are well versed in top-bottom dynamics, desired roles, or your need to negotiate rules about a scene to mention a few topics.  Sexuality is an important and integral part of being human and how you choose to express yourself should be honored.  We join in the conversation where you are and help propel it forward.

Questions for Thought

Below are a few questions that are intended to help you consider your personal situation more closely.  If your responses cause concern and you want to make changes, we encourage you to contact us to discuss how we can best help.

  • Are you wanting to have a conversation about BDSM or Kink but worried about your partner’s reaction
  • Are you happy with your sex life as it is?
  • Are you experiencing shame around your sexual desires?
  • Are you able to share your fantasies with your partner?
  • Do you want to set up some rules but don’t know where to start?
  • Are you concerned about some of your sexual desires?
  • Are you worried about your self-control?
  • Do some of your desires frighten or disturb you?
Back To Top